urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suicidal_bucket And don't close your eyes 'cause they told you too. Emilee 2008-03-02T08:10:17Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suicidal_bucket:121031 2008-03-02T08:04:32Z 2008-03-02T08:10:17Z Damn.<br />I haven't written in this thing in forever.<br />I don't know what really brought me to write in here.<br />I just guess when I was in the shower brushing the coke out of my teeth, I though "huh, spilling my heart out sounds fantastic,"<br />Bleh.<br />I wish some times things in my life could be easy like it use to be.<br />I am playing all the old music that I use to listen too.<br />It reminds me of kevin.<br />It makes me feel sick.<br /><br /><br />I am so tired of Ryan.<br />I mean, I am not like tired of him, I actually mean that I am just tired of being in a relationship.<br />But I don't want to break up.<br />I want us to go back to normal.<br />I want us to not have to try to make a conversation between us.<br />I want to fuck and be touched.<br /><br />I am tired of thinking about him.<br />this shit is fuckin gay.<br /><br />Anyways<br />I wish I had more coke so I could think, write more.<br />Some days are better then others.<br />I can't run forever.<br /><br />I have been having this weird feeling lately; it's like, like the knowing that something bad is going to happen to the world and I am going to be left behind.<br />While my family is safe and okay I will be burning.<br />Ryan my love is like stuck and I can't save him.<br />I want to, I wish he could come with us. <br />I love him.<br />I hate talking about him!<br /> <br />I thought I had more to say, but I guess not.<br /><br />peace. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:suicidal_bucket:51082 2005-01-18T03:20:39Z 2005-11-26T20:08:11Z <center> <img src="http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c102/__oh_so_rad/fo2lt.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"></center>